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Friday, March 30, 2007

Blahness

The Scream, c.1893, Edvard Munch

I've never given much thought or significance to dreams. They are fascinating at times, especially when they're like some action-packed adventure movie, so very real that I'll wake up quite exhausted, with every detail still vivid in my mind.

I do marvel at the mind's ability to come up with things during the dream state that I'd never be able to imagine while awake. And for some reason, though I have zero fear of elevators in reality, whenever I find myself in an elevator in a dream, that damned thing will either free fall if it's going down or will go right through the roof if it's going up, sometimes even going sideways. They never function normally and always scare the hell out of me.

By the way, have you ever watched someone while they're dreaming? I'm not sure if it's REM but you can see the eyeballs moving back and forth under their eyelids. Pretty strange.

I've had such wonderful dreams that upon waking I'd feel disappointed to realize that it had only been a dream. Then there have been those horrific ones where I felt extremely relieved to open my eyes and find that my world was still intact. Last night's dream was a bit disconcerting.

I can only recall part of it, although I know that there was nothing pleasant going on up to this point. I was in unfamiliar surroundings. It was night and I had to go somewhere for some reason so I jumped into my car. After driving a short distance I see that the street ahead is engulfed in flames but I drive through it anyway without hesitation.

Next thing, I'm in the hospital and I'm saying, "Let it die, let it die" to this nurse who is cradling a body that has no legs. The head is completely bald. The only exposed skin is on the head and neck, and it's all black from being burned. It's me, but I'm not in that body anymore. I don't have much emotion at all as I continue to repeat this over and over again even though I know she can't hear me. Then the nurse says, "She's going to live." Can't remember anything beyond this. I was probably shocked out of my sleep.

Now that has to be one of the most helpless, hopeless, pathetically tragic scenarios that my mind has ever concocted.

Ach! It was just a stupid dream. Both my legs are in good working order, my hair is actually getting too long, my skin is just fine, and I don't have any plans to drive through streets of fire. Although, the dream could be symbolic of the current state of my spirit. Told ya I wasn't well. I wish you all could have known me when I was still mentally and spiritually intact. That saying about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger does not seem to be holding up here.


Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Nailing The Liberal

Found this video through Bane. He's right. You gotta see.

I had to repost it here because it is so right on the money. Evan Sayet, a reformed Hollywood liberal, does a brilliant job of dissecting the modern liberal mindset.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Ouch!

I am holding a piece of ice which has melted nicely around my right index finger where a yellowjacket stung me close to the palm. Prior to this, I had never in my life been stung by a bee or wasp.

I was taking out the garbage for Monday's pickup. My eye caught a flash of its yellow and black body when I opened the lid but was distracted by some workmen up a ways in the alley. It just didn't register and I stupidly grabbed the rim of the garbage can right where this little beast was perched.

It certainly registered when I instantly felt a fiery pain in my finger. I let out a scream, threw the bag in and ran inside while looking for the stinger. There was no stinger at the little red dot where I had been assailed. I immediately Googled "bee sting" to see what the heck one does. The first thing one must do is look for the stinger because it can pump venom for up to 20 minutes. Yikes! And it's not like a thorn, as I was looking for, but a little black dot! That's quite a punch packed in a little black dot. I looked again, real close. Nope. No black dot. Then it goes on to described systemic allergic reactions which include symptoms like nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness - fortunately none of which I was experiencing. Anaphylactic reactions include wheezing, difficulty breathing and drop in blood pressure - none of those either. Whew! I am not allergic. So, I followed the instructions for treating it - applying ice and a paste of baking soda.

This one tiny sting was very painful. It made me think about the stories I've heard of people getting attacked by bees and sometimes dying. I can now imagine how much those people suffered. And what a stupid way to go! To think that you're outside, alive, healthy and happy, then in an instant, your life is endangered - by insects. Makes you think...

The ice helped a lot to reduce the pain. Now, the red dot is completely gone and just a tiny bit of swelling remains. The pain has subsided as well. Well, looks like I have no excuse to put off the chores. I'm off to tackle the yard work.

Friday, March 16, 2007

GodMen

From Christian Men...Too Wimpy?:

Jesus

GodMen, a new Christian movement founded by "America's comic" Brad Stine, encourages its members to model their lives on a "manlier" version of Christ. (AP Photo)

Three hundred men — all Christian — gathered behind closed doors at a Tennessee mall trying to figure out the difference between being "nice" (which is not good) and being "good" (which is). They struggled in the dimly lit hall — after a Christian rock band handed it off to the comic in charge — to make sense of the message they were hearing from the stage: that church has been "feminized" and that the Jesus talked about in many modern churches is too wimpy and gentle.

This is a bit encouraging - and rare. If a movement is what it takes for men to start acting like men again, then I say, get moving! Our families, the Church and this country are badly in need of good, strong leadership from Christian men.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Making Liquor-Laced Lemonade From Lemons

It's pouring rain, thundering and lightning right now. And very dark. I love it. There's something about being cozy, warm and dry inside my home while a tempest blows all around me that gives me a very satisfying feeling of aliveness. Driving in a storm gives me the same feeling, only I'm a little more tense. The thought that I'm moving right along in my little cocoon untouched by the roaring elements outside strikes me as quite cool.

Ooh! That was a huge lightning strike! Hope that awful, CO2-producing electricity doesn't get knocked out here.

This reminds me of a couple of summers ago, also on a Tuesday... Yikes! I just jumped a foot out of the chair and my ears are still ringing from that strike!!! All's well, but the lights are struggling. My carbon footprint may be drastically reduced any minute now...

Anyway, I was watching the storm out the back door that day because the winds were gusting to scary velocities. Huge trees were being shaken like reeds, the loud crack of major branches snapping off could be heard. Then the electricity went out. This was not unexpected considering the fury of the storm. What was unexpected was the duration with which we had to go without electricity. The outage was widespread - hundreds of thousands of homes. It was quite an adventure, like camping out in my own home, as I had to manage without electricity from that Tuesday afteroon until Friday afternoon. Walking around the neighborhood after the storm had passed was eerie - very dark and quiet, with debris strewn all over the yards and streets, making them nearly impassable.

Forced to quit my 16-hour work days on the PC, I decided to take advantage of this unplanned vacation. Went to the liquor store and bought the most expensive bottles of Tequila, Vodka and Scotch that I could find. During the days, I lounged at the neighbor's poolside, sipping on my liquid treasures, ice chest on hand with mixers, deli meats and cheeses for munching. I would stay awake through the nights, candles burning, playing the piano or reading, with Morticia* and Juliana** at my side, just in case anyone got the idea that homes without electricity meant homes without security.

I could have kissed the electric company guys when their truck rolled up the alley that late Friday afternoon to repair the line that had been snapped by a falling tree. They seemed happy enough though with just my sincere thank you and an offer of a cold drink - in my bikini burkha.

* Remington 12 gauge
** Para-Ordnance .45

Monday, March 12, 2007

Voices of Reason

Hear! Hear! This BBC documentary, The Great Global Warming Swindle, is long (one hour and 15 minutes) but well worth watching. Martin Durkin, who created this documentary, does an excellent job of exposing the Global Warming hysteria being foisted upon the masses.

The Great Global Warming Swindle

Of particular note is the part about how Marxists are now using environmental issues to further their agenda. I loathe environmental activists. They are far more dangerous than any Islamic jihadist and just as fanatical in their beliefs.

After watching this documentary I am more convinced than ever that it is not what man can do to the environment that we should fear, but rather what man can do to man. And with such a large number of scientists, politicians, journalists, activists and various other opportunists who are lining their pockets or furthering their agendas through what is now the Global Warming industry, it should be alarmingly apparent that we are indeed facing a massive man-made threat.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Comic Relief

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right ?"

Murphy slowly shook his head and said, "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement, boob job, liposuction and a tummy tuck. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by a car. Arriving in front of God, she demanded," I thought you said I had another 40 years! Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the car?"

God replied, "Girrrlllllll, I didn't even recognize you!"

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "Shit."

  1. "When I die, I want to die like my grandfather - who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
    -- Author Unknown

  2. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two " and "Keep away from children."
    -- Author Unknown

  3. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
    -- Drew Carey

  4. "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
    -- Jeff Foxworthy

  5. "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
    -- Dave Barry

  6. "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
    -- Bob Ettinger

  7. "My Mom said she learned how to swim when her parents took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
    -- Paula Poundstone

  8. "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
    -- Conan O'Brien

  9. "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
    -- Lynda Montgomery

  10. "I think I know how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
    -- Richard Jeni

  11. "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
    -- Johnny Carson

  12. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
    -- Paul Rodriguez

  13. "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law."
    -- Jerry Seinfeld

  14. "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
    -- Warren Hutcherson

  15. "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
    -- Oscar Wilde

  16. "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

    --Mark Twain

  17. "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student! At least they can find Afghanistan."

    -- A. Whitney Brown

  18. Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
    -- Unknown, presumed deceased

  19. "Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
    -- W. C. Fields

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager "How much is that new Barbie in the window?"

The Manager replied, "Which one? We have -
'Barbie goes to the gym' for $19.95 ...
'Barbie goes to the Ball' for $19.95 ...
'Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 ...
'Barbie goes to the beach' for $19.95...
'Barbie goes to the Nightclub' for $19.95 ...
and 'Divorced Barbie' for $375.00."

"Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?" Dad asked surprised.

Simple..."Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat and Ken's furniture."


Update: Jamie R has not gone off to grab a quick bite... He posted a comment which has an accompanying video. Hmmm. And here I was all ready to find adventure Down Under...

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Friends In Need

Death has struck again. Not my family but almost like family. This was unexpected even though the dear lady was in her 80s. The bad news found me sitting quietly at home. I have been trying my best to hide from life and here death comes along, jolting me back to reality. How could I go through another funeral this soon? Haven't even been able to watch one on television since my mother's death. Then it struck me how utterly useless I was to this grieving family, being so steeped in my own grief. This realization made me quite angry at myself so I pulled it together and cooked up some comfort food for them. Went by the house to drop it off, to tell them if there's anything at all I could do, to let me know. They were in the living room, some neighbors were there when I arrived. I didn't stay long. Later that evening they called to tell me how much they enjoyed the food. This was one of the best moments I've had in a long, long time.

Although I almost backed out of it, I did manage to attend the viewing and then the funeral the following day. I had no choice. These good people needed their friends around them now as they had been there for me. The family held up well through it all. I was mostly numb.

I haven't been motivated to post about anything.