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Thursday, August 9, 2007

Veni, Vidi, Vori

Food seems to be a topic that everyone can relate to and one that I know a little something about - I have eaten most all of my life. As this topic does not involve religion nor politics nor any rotten current event - I am happy to discuss it. Frankly, I am fed up with everything.

So, in the spirit of avoiding anything remotely intellectual or controversial, I submit to you this recipe for Caesar Salad. It is not my recipe. I got it from a friend who at the time was the chef at a country club. I've never tried any other homemade Caesar Salad recipe so I can't compare. But the well-heeled members liked it and so do the not-so-well-heeled to whom I've served it. Now, this is a rather garlicky affair here so beware if you have to face people within 24 hours of its consumption - unless you really don't like them at all. In that case, you can say, "Hhhhhhhhhhhhi!", right in their face.

Caesar Salad

Ingredients:
  1. 2 tbsps lemon juice - freshly squeezed, not the bottled stuff - never the bottled stuff. Chuck that bottle in the trash and keep real lemons on hand, for goodness sake. If you don't have a manual lemon squeezer, you might consider getting one. They're very handy for lemons and limes. I got mine at the Mexican grocery store where I buy yerba. Mexicans use tons of lime juice. Pictured is the kind I'm talking about.
  2. 2 tbsps red wine vinegar - I wouldn't use any other type of vinegar. It's specified for a reason so I've always stuck with it.
  3. 3 medium cloves of garlic - smashed and peeled like I showed you. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you'll just have to struggle through it somehow.
  4. 3 or 4 anchovy fillets - don't let this turn you off if you don't like anchovies, you'll never know they're in there. And don't accidentally get sardines like I did the other day. They're all sitting there together, so if you're not really thinking, it can happen. Ooh, that pissed me off. Don't get me wrong, I like sardines and eat them all the time. They're very, very good for you. But I needed anchovies!
  5. 1 raw egg yolk - it won't kill you. The acid from the vinegar and lemon will kill anything in there - at least that's my theory.
  6. 1 cup of grapeseed oil or any other light tasting vegetable oil - olive oil is too strong. Grapeseed oil is good and good for you. I use it for many things. Here's a little bit about it: Grapeseed oil is believed to reduce bad cholesterol in the arteries. It has a very light taste and can be used just as you use olive oil in cooking. In some cases, grapeseed oil is preferable to olive oil because it has an even higher smoke point (can withstand hotter temperatures). That bit about withstanding hotter temps is important. Oils can be bad for your health if they break down during cooking. Just about every grocery store carries it now. When I first started using it, I could only find it at Whole Foods.
  7. salt
  8. freshly ground black pepper
  9. one head of romaine lettuce - it must be romaine - that's the law
  10. Parmesan cheese
  11. croutons - it's customary, but not absolutely necessary
  12. a blender

Putting it all together:

In the still, that is, not blending, blender add:
  1. egg yolk
  2. lemon juice
  3. red wine vinegar
  4. anchovies
  5. garlic
  6. some salt
Place the cover and blend on high for a few seconds.
Let it all sit a second, just for good measure - you know - to annihilate any aliens (that ought a fake out Googlers) that might be in that egg.

During this time you can measure out the oil into a measuring cup that has a pouring wedge. I don't know if wedge is the correct name but it's a little wedge on the rim so you can pour liquids cleanly from it. I'm sure it has a name. Every little thing has a name. If it's spout, then I shall have to protest because a spout is what you have on a watering can. Anyhow, this is very helpful, actually necessary, because you'll be pouring a very thin stream of oil.

OK. That's enough time to destroy every alien (gotcha Googlers) in there.

Now comes the crucial part - adding the oil. It's not hard, but you can't rush this. If your blender cover has a removable center portion, that's good, because you want it covered so everything doesn't spatter all over the place, but you also need an opening from which to pour in the oil while its blending. Most all blender covers have this feature. I haven't seen every blender in existence but the ones I have seen do have it.
  1. Start the blender - on high or medium. I guess it depends on how powerful your motor is. I don't think it needs to be at warp speed, but it shouldn't be the slowest either.
  2. Remove the center portion or the cover. Actually, after that long spiel, I don't think it'll make a mess without the cover. Once the liquid in there starts whirling around at a steady state, there's very little spattering going on.
  3. Start pouring the oil in - VERY VERY SLOWLY - the stream of oil should be so thin that it's almost alternating between a stream and drops. THAT slow.

    The chef explained to me that it's very important that you start off very slowly or you will not get the desired creaminess, the emulsion. Emulsions are a type of colloid. Colloids are interesting. Well, you might not think so but I do.

    Also, watch where the oil falls into the blender. Position your cup so the oil is going into the area that's spinning the fastest, closest to the center, the blender blade. This may not make any difference at all but I'm a bit of a fanatic about doing things in an optimal manner. OK, I'm a bloody perfectionist. Imagine how much anguish my newly retarded brain causes me. This is not something I can easily accept, thus the frequent bitching and moaning. It's like driving an Enzo Ferrari all your life then having to adjust to a Yugo...

    OK, keep the steady stream of oil going. You may slowly increase the stream. You'll notice the liquid will start getting more opaque, white - and thicker. This is colloidal magic. Slowly increase the stream until it's about 1/4 inch wide.

    After all the oil is in there, you're done. It doesn't take a very long time. Stop the blender. Taste for salt. Add some more if you like, then give the blender a few go-arounds to mix in the salt. Put the blender jar in the fridge.
  4. Wash and dry the romaine lettuce leaves. I have this very neat spinner that does an excellent job when you need that lettuce, parsley, etc. to be really dry.
  5. Cut the romaine into large pieces. If you don't have to open your mouth really wide to eat it, then it's too small!
  6. Arrange the lettuce on the plate.
  7. If you want croutons, add those too.
  8. Pour the Caesar dressing over all of it.
  9. Coarsely grind some black pepper on top.
  10. Top it all off with the Parmesan cheese.
  11. Open wide and eat.

You can make a complete meal of this by adding grilled or sauteed chicken breast or tenders. You'll want to slice the chicken and arrange it on top of the salad.

¡Buen provecho!

IMPORTANT UPDATE: What I wrote about the acid from the vinegar and lemon killing any bacteria, specifically Salmonella, is just plain stupid! If the gastric acid in our stomachs can't kill it, no vinegar or lemon is going to kill it. DUH!

I've never had any problem with Salmonella, but you hear about it. I don't know what to tell you. Is there some Salmonella test strip around? If there isn't, that would be a very useful thing. Let me check... OK. There is. But, I have no idea if it's readily available to the public or how expensive it is. Interesting. As I recall now, I had the idea of a test strip years ago.

Alrighty then. A false sense of security is worse than no security. Let's be cautious. Damn Salmonella.

Posted by Taylor at 2:50 PM 0 comments

Monday, August 6, 2007

No Junk Here

I am far from the typical consumer, I think. We're talking groceries here. I don't shop for anything else unless it's absolutely necessary.

You know, when you're standing there in line and there's nothing to do but wait, you can't help but see what other people are buying, especially if they're unloading the stuff onto the conveyor belt thingy. This is how I know I'm not the typical consumer. And I'm sure that Kraft, et al. are very happy that I am not.

To give you some idea, I will list what's currently stocked in my kitchen. Maybe I'm not as unusual as I think. Maybe I am. You decide.

Pantry contents:
    olive oil - first, cold pressed
    grapeseed oil
    white vinegar
    apple cider vinegar
    balsamic vinegar
    red wine vinegar
    sea salt
    black pepper
    whole peeled tomatoes
    tomato paste
    tomato sauce
    tuna
    canned cat food for the boy kitty
    canned chicken for the girl kitty - she won't touch canned cat food
    canned spinach
    canned peas
    old-fashioned rolled oats
    several boxes of rye crackers
    fettucine noodles
    wide egg noodles
    barley
    brown rice
    lentils
    dried split peas
    yerba mate
In the freezer:
    big bag of mixed vegetables
    bag of blueberries
    bag of peas
    a zillion bottles of different dried herbs and spices
    ice
    an open box of baking soda
In the fridge:
Veggie drawer:
    romaine lettuce
    tomatoes
    red cabbage
    white cabbage
    carrots
    parsley
    jalapenos
Fruit drawer:
    apples
    nectarines
    grapefruits
    red seedless grapes
    lemons
    limes
On the door:
    mayonnaise
    Dijon mustard
    brown mustard
    yellow mustard
    ketchup
    Tabasco sauce
    soy sauce
    sesame oil
    big jar of pickles
    jar of capers
    jar of black olives
    sweet butter
On the shelves or other drawers:
    watermelon
    gallon of milk
    eggs
    plain yogurt - homemade
    mild cheddar cheese
    Argentine parmesan
    feta cheese
    steak - that I need to cook tonight
    onions and garlic in a brown paper bag
    potatoes in another brown paper bag
    a bowl with kitty's canned chicken
    a bowl of fresh strawberries
    a jar of roasted red bell peppers - just made those yesterday
    an open box of baking soda
On the counter:
    a bowl with bananas, mangoes, avocados (I call them green butter - yum!)

I don't keep much food in stock. I've always gone on a buy-as-needed basis.

You'll note there's no sugar on that list. I ran out of coffee and sugar and haven't replaced either. The only time I use sugar is in coffee. Next time I buy coffee, I'll get a small bag of sugar. I really should have some sugar around. There is nothing better for minor burns. Yep. Plain white refined sugar. Immediately run cold water on the burn and cake the sugar straight onto the wet, burned area. It'll be as good as new in no time. I've done it many a time.

You'll also note that I don't keep many processed foods or snack foods around - no cookies, ice cream, chips, what have you. I've never been in the habit of or have any desire to eat those types of foods. No soft drinks or fruit juices either. I drink water, maté or milk - and alcohol when I'm in the mood, but I haven't been for quite some time. I used to indulge in gallons of cold S. Pellegrino, a naturally carbonated mineral water, but for now I'm strictly on tap water. Dallas water is really very drinkable. One of the best in the country.

You won't find any type of bread in the kitchen unless I'm having people over. Just because I don't touch the stuff doesn't mean my guests should forgo their bread.

Another thing that's missing here is any kind of bottled salad dressing. The only salad dressing I will use and was raised on is a simple one of olive oil, white vinegar and salt - the very basic vinaigrette. If you haven't made a tossed salad with this dressing, you should try it. It's the most healthful and doesn't overpower the salad itself. Here's the recipe.

Basic Tossed Salad

Ingredients:
  1. Romaine or any type of lettuce. I used to look down my nose on iceberg lettuce until I learned that it too has some interesting healthful properties. I can't recall what they are, but I know I heard something, somewhere and it stuck in my head - just not the details.
  2. Tomatoes (not required if you're one of those misguided souls who doesn't like them)
  3. Yellow onion - it can be white or red, but I use yellow for its excellent healthful properties. Yes, the lowly yellow onion. God made sure peasants can be healthy too.
  4. Any other veggie you want but it's not at all necessary. This three-ingredient tossed salad is a perfect accompaniment to any meal. Other veggies can include carrots, celery, cucumber, green or red bell pepper, avocado (I always put one in there when one's around)
  5. Olive oil. This should be part of your diet - on a daily basis. My neighbor never uses it. She had to have her gall bladder removed after much pain and suffering. She learned that eating just a tablespoon of olive oil a day would have prevented all that. I didn't know this, but I do know olive oil is great for overall health.
  6. White vinegar. Just plain ole white vinegar. Not any other fancy kind.
  7. Salt.
Putting it together:
  1. Wash and dry lettuce and tomatoes
  2. Cut lettuce into bite-sized pieces. I remember once telling this to an adorable 5-year old boy who wanted to help me, so I put him to work. He was tearing it, not using a knife. Anyway, when I explained to him that it should be bite-sized, he proceeded to pick up the lettuce leaf and acted like he was going to take a bite out of it. That's quite a sense of humor for a little tyke. His mischievous grin told me he knew exactly what he was doing. Lots of stories about that little one... OK. Add the cut lettuce to the salad bowl.
  3. Tomatophobes may skip this one. Before slicing up the tomatoes, try this trick. Cut the tomato(es) in half, horizontally, then squeeeeeze it (I like that commercial) gently, like you're seeding it, shaking the innards into the bowl. This really incorporates the dressing and veggies. I'd noticed that after the salad was all eaten, the remaining dressing at the bottom of the bowl was very tasty and reddish from the tomato juice. So, instead of letting it happen naturally over time, I speed up the process by squeezing the tomato juices into the bowl right at first. Always thinking...
  4. Slice up the tomato halves and add to the bowl.
  5. Thinly slice the onion. Not the whole thing - enough to have onion in there, but not have an overly strong onion taste. It's up to you. Add them to the bowl.
  6. Lightly pour some white vinegar over all of it. You don't want too much or it will overpower everything.
  7. Generously season with salt. This is important. Don't be stingy with the salt - unless you're on a restricted diet.
  8. Toss a bit to dissolve the salt in the vinegar and tomato juice. Salt won't dissolve in oil.
  9. Pour the olive oil over it. You need to add just enough to coat every piece in the bowl. You don't want it dripping in oil, but you don't want it dry either.
  10. Toss with a fork and spoon. Keep tossing. And keep tossing.
  11. Taste. You may need to add more salt, vinegar or oil. It should have just a slight tang from the vinegar but not be too acidic. It will be a bit tasteless if there's not enough oil. Add anything that seems missing - but in small amounts. You can always add more, you can't take it out once it's in there.
  12. Toss again. Taste. Hopefully you will get it just right before it's all gone... There is a bit of an art to getting the optimal quantities of each. I have the touch. My aunt and myself make the best salad in the family. Our talents are highly valued as we will inevitably be called into the kitchen when it's time to add the dressing.
  13. Serve with the meal.

In Argentina we eat our salad with the main course. It is never served beforehand. Eating salad as the first course of a meal totally deprives you of the benefits of all that fiber nicely pushing the rest of the food through your system.

Another thing about this simple salad dressing is you will never tire of it. It's just not possible because it isn't a flavor or style. It simply brings the salad ingredients wonderfully together.

OK. Back to the contents of my kitchen. I have nothing to hide. Really, I don't! I am proud of my eating habits and I'm sure this is why I'm so healthy, physically (my mental health is on life support). What we eat on a daily basis has more effect on our health than anything else, except maybe genetics. I hope you all are taking care of the only body you have.

Posted by Taylor at 2:11 PM 0 comments

Saturday, August 4, 2007

I Am... In Love

K-Bear has just shown me something that has left me dizzy with anticipation. There is nothing I want more.

At first, I was very skeptical. It just didn't seem that anything that awesome could actually exist, but K-Bear has convinced me it is the real thing.

Now that I believe him, I can honestly say I have never seen anything that I've instantly fallen in love with like I have this. I simply must have it. Everything I do from now on will be towards that end.

It will be a while before I can get my hot little hands on it, but now that I know it's out there, nobody is going to stop me from having it. It's just as well because I'm going to have to work very hard for it.

Some may find it hard to believe, but when you see it, you'll understand how I can be so head over heels.

Click here and prepare to be astonished.

If that didn't get you even a little bit titillated, then perhaps you had best check for a pulse.

I will be sorely disappointed if its performance falls short of what I've been led to believe or if there are limitations to how long it can stay up.

Very disappointed.

Posted by Taylor at 3:28 AM 2 comments

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Deja Vu All Over Again

I have this feeling that I've already seen the Cowboys' upcoming season. Yes, it's ridiculously premature to go off and start this kind of talk and I have as much insight regarding football as I do any other sport, which is zip, but I have to say it, nevertheless. This nagging premonition is too strong to ignore.

As the new season gets underway there is a clearly familiar aspect to it. And it's not something that forebodes great success. The new head coach, Wade Phillips, very much appears to fall in with the ranks of the Switzers, Gaileys and Camposes. That is, none had any air of authority and all were quite willing to be yes-men to Jones. We all know how the years with those coaches at the helm turned out.

Jerry Jones is most likely not a very patient man and I'm thinking he's sick and tired of listening to someone else, only to continually have the long lost object of his desire end up out of his reach. He got so close last season. So, I wager he's thinking he's got one hell of a talented team including one hell of a talented young quarterback - the head coach not being very important at this point.

Jones has never been satisfied to be just the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, he wants to be part of the team itself. He would much prefer to pace along the sidelines, willing his team on to victory rather than sit passively in the owner's suite. Now he sees the opportunity to take his Cowboys all the way - on his terms - head coaches be damned. It will be interesting to see if Phillips can manage to keep him off the sidelines where his appearance is so obviously detrimental that I can't understand how Jones sees it otherwise. But, the man is a control freak, he can't help it. That may be a good trait in business, but it has worked against him in the game of football.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry... Did you not learn anything from those disastrous years between Johnson and Parcells?

It is not my intention to disparage Wade Phillips as a person, and I have no idea what he's done professionally, but from all appearances the man does not come off as someone who can lead a team to the Super Bowl. In fact, he reminds me of the Pillsbury Doughboy. Totally. This was the first thought that popped into my head the day he was introduced as the new head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

A jovial and good-guy demeanor may work well for a team player, but not for a head coach. Football players, even the pros, especially the pros, need a tough, no-nonsense coach to keep them in line. This is what they know, what they expect from their coaches, even though some will often grumble about him - it is usually those types who most require the uncompromisingly high expectations of a winning head coach. This is how they got where they are.

Parcells was that kind of a coach and the high-caliber team Phillips has inherited is entirely of his making. Though age and mileage had taken a lot out of The Big Tuna by the time he signed on with the Cowboys, he still was an authoritative figure, a force to be reckoned with, and the players knew it. The results of his tenure speak for themselves. It's a shame Parcells didn't finish his career with one additional Super Bowl win on his record.

I really hate to be saying all this, because Wade Phillips seems like a very nice man and also because he's an honest to goodness, born and bred Texan, but I have serious doubts that a smiley doughboy is going to have the same results as that Yankee curmudgeon. The media love Phillips because he is giving them all the time in the world, unlike Parcells, who usually told them to get stuffed. And why shouldn't he be happy to have the media fawn all over him? Phillips is thrilled just to be where he is - the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys! What happens afterwards is almost secondary. This is the difference between a proven winner like Parcells and one who has yet to reach those heights, especially at an already advanced age.

I'm going by my gut feeling here, so I hope I'm way off and being unduly pessimistic. Maybe there is much more to Wade Phillips than meets this admittedly naive eye. Maybe the team will play to its full potential under this kinder, gentler head coach. Maybe we'll be celebrating a wildly successful season, even a Super Bowl appearance - barring any freak fiascos as occurred in the last ill-fated playoff game. But, if it goes the way I suspect it will, as history is wont to repeat itself, and the Cowboys' performance degenerates into a mere shadow of what was displayed last season - Jerry will have only himself to blame. And I will be thoroughly pissed off. Sometimes it's just no fun at all being right.

Update: Watching the news earlier today. The players are calling training camp - camp cupcake. How nice for them. They could end up calling the season - toast.

Posted by Taylor at 10:38 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Jessica - The Cutest Hippo Ever

Thanks to Spacebunny and TeenyTiny for introducing me to Jessica, the adorable pet hippopotamus.

The word hippopotamus means river horse. But really now, these rotund characters are more like river piggies. Piggipotamus would have been a better name. Here's the story of a sweetie hippo named Jessica, taken straight from the www.telegraph.co.uk site.

Update: I found a video of Jessica. She's quite a special hippo.




The story of the extraordinary friendship between human and hippo is told in 'Jessica the Hippo', that was shown on the Animal Planet channel on Thursday, June 28 at 9pm. Jessica is a celebrity!


As a baby she was washed up on the riverside lawn of game warden Tonie Joubert


He hand-reared her


She grew and grew and grew


And she now weighs three-quarters of a ton or 110 stone


But is simply one of the family


She eats, sleeps, swims and plays at home in South Africa


Just like any other pet


She likes her food . . .


. . . And drinks 10 litres of sweet warm coffee a day


Jessica plays with the other pets


Cleans the puppies


Grooms them


Sleeps with them


Eats treats with them


Plays games with the dogs


Like any pet, she doesn't like the vet


But does like a nice bed . . .


. . . Inside the house


Even if the other family members aren't so keen


At the end of a hard day, she likes nothing better ...


Than a good rest with a dear friend


Or under the covers


Outside on the porch


Goodnight, Jessica

I want a piggipotamus!

Posted by Taylor at 8:22 PM 1 comments
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